Bored.


What could one do to stop time? Stand still and pretend they can no longer hear the ticking of the clock? Denial never did anyone good. I love the past just as much as I love the future, but being in the moment, I never seem to notice how great it is until its.. in the past.

I’ve been stuck in the stage of being alone. It seems that I am always.. by myself. With lots of great people around me during work, church and living at home, I can never seem to find one person to hang out with. And when I do, I look for ways to cancel.

I miss the days of having a neighbor to knock on their door to ask if they wanna come out and play. Or a school friend who wants to come over. My single friends think I’m always on dates with my future husband, my married friends think I’m always with my single friends, and my family thinks I’m busy doing world changing things. haha. Nope, I’m at a coffee shop hanging out, reading and thinking..alone. I enjoy it, but then I get bored. Now what?

When I was a little girl I imaged when I got engaged I was certain there would always be a man next to me. Grown ups never told me husbands have to go to work and leave you .. alone.

What should I do in this season? I’ve been asking myself this question all year.

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As a creative, I know there is untaped talent inside of me that I need to explore.

When I look at my list of goals, most of them are crossed off. There is a new one I want to add, but I’m not sure if I’ve just been wanting too much of Friends. I can’t go back in time to the 90’s and live in New York in hopes to meet great loyal friends who want to listen about your day.

I’m a mid thirty goal achiever. Maybe its time I push myself into the uncomfortable zone.. and think of something new to do.

I did my twenties well, now I have no idea what to do in my thirties.

Babies? why not. haha Until then, I’ll change my domain name.

Hi Moniemuse.com

Getting Married


View More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagementI’m – I mean, We are getting married! On to a new adventure called responsibility. I thought long and hard when Gus got down on his knee and asked me to marry him, actually, it took me 4 seconds to answer. I thought about what this new promotion in life would mean, what would I be giving up? What will I now have to do?  I thought about how hard everyone says marriage is, and well, if I was going to go into battle, it would be Gus who I would want to fight along side.

I take no credit in finding Gus, and I am sure he would agree, we accidentally found each other.  I was in the middle of working, and he wanted to check out the control room at church. Time stopped when we saw each other, actually I pretended like I didn’t notice him noticing me. I played it cool that day, and I am still playing it cool. Hopefully he doesn’t notice my flaws, like how I think I am the main character of this movie. He would say that he is the main character.

View More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagementView More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagementView More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagementView More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagementView More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagement

From a distance you may think we have it all figured out, the only thing we know, there is nothing we can’t solve together. We kept being engaged a secret for six months, why you ask? We’ll we needed time to trouble shoot all the questions – where? when? wedding? who is invited? babies? Yes, yes, yes, no, yes! haha.

I’ve always been a late bloomer, I was the last of my group of friends to kiss a boy, to move out and now to get married. Most of my friends have pre-teens, actually I’ve lost most of my friends to their husbands and children, a real shame!

My life plan was to get married ten years ago, but one problem, I needed someone great – and I wouldn’t meet him until what felt like FOREVER. Its been a journey from that moment when we first met to the ones you see on screen. There was a lot of things that hand to be discuss, fixed and worked out. For that we thank Jesus, He makes the impossible possible and helped us though the process of learning how to love with a pure love.

Wish us Luck! On our way to be married.. 4 months to go. View More: http://williamtyates.pass.us/redlands-engagement

photos by William Yates

 

 

 

Book: 7 women 

 We all want to know the secret of greatness, reading 7 Women by Eric Metaxas made it clear the cost of living a life that changes society doesn’t come at an easy price.  We see people on social media with glamorous lives who seem to blend the lines of being influential and fame. We interpret the only way to make a difference in culture is to be famous. In pursuing fame we become deaf to God’s instructions and the endeavor becomes more about self than about others. Chances are, what He wants us to do, is not glamorous at all.

Reading the stories of these seven women made it clear, each of them served others sacrificially. I was fully expecting to read this book to feel adequate but instead realized I have the ability to serve people where I am at in my life just like these women did. These women never had fame on their minds and never cared about who was following them but focused on being obedient to Christ. Each day they took one step closer towards what they knew God would want them to do.  It’s clear how easy but yet how very hard it is to do just that. Jonah of Arc allowed herself to look crazy to those who did not believe it was God who was speaking to her, Mother Theresa paid attention to society’s outcastes, Corrie ten Boom opened her home to strangers in need and continued to do so during the Holocaust even when her life was at risk. Hannah More used her gifting as an artist to influence culture to reveal how evil the slave trade was.

Reading about these 7 women show me the power of being faithful, faithful to God, to family, to work, and how that alone makes the difference in the lives of those around you. It’s faithfulness and obedience to God that creates a new culture, over flowing to others. 

I pray.

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I pray for the generation I am a part of. I think about the impact our actions have on each other. I like to think about the days when we had our innocence, playing outside until the sunset. Now as grown ups, we have chosen our path and some have decided to hate. What can I, one person do in a world that can seem so evil?

I pray.

I pray for those who live in cities, villages and towns that are in the middle of war zones. Those who no longer feel safe in their own home, looking out their windows for refuge. I stand in shock as my own city struggles to make scenes of the deadly shooting that has now made us famous. What can I do as I watch fear over take the hearts of many.

I pray.

I pray for those who don’t know me but I seem them on the news, I read about them in articles, I hear about them on podcast. Their stories echo inside me as I live my life of peace, and beauty. May they too one day know the Father in Heaven who watches over them and see’s them.

I pray even though it might seem too late.

I pray for the young person who is not yet my age and all seems hopeless. Not knowing their purpose and place in the world. Unsure if they will ever love again and be able to give their heart away to another. They look towards the future and not sure how they will make a living out of the small seed they have in their hand called a dream. I recall stories of young people giving up, and I think to myself if only I could share my heart with them.

I pray.

I pray as I cross to other side of the unknown. I listen to the thoughts of God, and allow His peace to comfort me as I read His words. He has given me hope, He has given me His heart, His son, and everything in between heaven and earth in order to know me and I know Him.

What was once broken, has been restored.

I pray even though others don’t understand. I not only see the answers, but I am living inside them. And when it may seems like hope is gone, I will pray.

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I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

C.S. Lewis Chronicles

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The past few months I’ve been reading, C.S Lewis Chronicles of Narnia. It’s been really exciting to read something so different to what I’m normally use to reading. I’m not one to read fantasy and not even non-fiction but I kept hearing about how great they were, and the deep meaning CS Lewis paints in his book. So I wanted to experience that for myself.

I found the whole Chronicles at a thrift store, and knew that was a sign to read them. As I read the first book, I remember when I was in third grade reading it. I remember wishing there was more to the story when I finished it. As I’m older reading all of them, its like… hearing a good song and wishing there were more songs just like it. I did enjoy that each book was a little bit different. It wasn’t the same characters or same story. What I did enjoy most was going to a land called Narnia, beautiful place with green grass, hills and mountains and it sounds funny, unicorns and talking animal, it really is a child’s dream to escape into a  land like Narnia.

There are times when the descriptive piece would be so, what I’m not use to as an adult to think of. It was good exercise to imagine, and allow to believe these new elements of Narnia. I loved the imagery it plays with good and evil, Jesus and Satan, it helped me as an adult to understand some thoughts, some truths the Christian faith has.

The last book really wrapped it up perfectly. It was really dark, the first few chapters, it seemed like everything was hopeless and the characters weren’t going to win. And it took me somewhere different that I didn’t expect. It took me to a land that was better than Narnia, more real. In fact, it made me want to go to Heaven. The way it describe the crystal waterfalls falling down, running so much that you’re never tired, climbing up waterfalls by swimming up it. Unicorns putting their horn in the water and creating rainbows. It was so relaxing to hear of a land so beautiful, peaceful.

It was fun and I’m actually excited to one day read these books again with my children. I can already foresee they say, “Another chapter or I’ll read on my own mom.” The imagery and pictures that C.S. Lewis paints, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. There embedded in my memory and in my mind. It was a good read, it took me a while because I kept getting distracted, but I”m glad I finished them all. —-

“..for them it was only the beginning of the real story.” – The Last Battle

The Anthropology Life 

an·thro·pol·o·gy\ˌan(t)-thrə-ˈpä-lə-jē\ : noun

: the study of human races, origins, societies, and cultures

The past few weeks I’ve been obsessed with the store, Anthropology. I’m finding my self visiting the store once a week and during the week thinking about when I can go again for a visit. The store is always stocks with new items. I don’t always buy something, but it’s the atmosphere I enjoy most. It’s like walking into a real life Instagram house who’s main goal is to inspire with every glance. I haven’t traveled overseas for some time now, and items collected have an international feel I miss seeing.

I use to visit antique shops but found the life I want to create is one that discovers new and interesting things. When I bought things, they never felt like they were mine. They had a life before me, memories that I did not own.

As I’ve been collecting items from sales, I am working to carry the culture of the store with me. I desire to have my future house have the same welcoming creative vibe. I want to live a life that welcomes in strangers and inspire sleeping artist to wake up. Rifle Paper Co. inspires me to paint and create handmade cards and notes. Their cards and journals are full of beautiful water color art. Anthropology is where I discovered Darling Magazine, which if you haven’t heard of, you’re missing out. Its a beautiful magazine full of articles that pour beauty and purpose in to life’s boring or challenging moments in life. The Darling team is also developing a magazine for men called, WildernessToday while doing my weekly visit, I saw my reflection. I thought to myself, “I look like I belong here.” I’ve bought into the Anthropology life style, travel and drinking coffee.  

Which might sounds stupid or with very little purpose, but these things are part of the external life experience. Living a life of meaning is part of my pursuit of the Father. The ultimate fashion expression is of hopeless, so even they know style, clothes and stuff doesn’t make one happy. God has heard countless prayers of mine about what being a women looks like today. I don’t wanna be stressed out, busy doing nothing or kindness taken advantage of. Anthropology is unforgiving about treating oneself, no guilt allowed for taking a break and enjoying the cultures of life. It excites me when I come across a real life example of the type of women I want to be. My favorite account to follow is Annstreetstudio She is a photographer who works with her husband in New York. I know very little about her but she seems graceful, lady like and calm. Her style is elegant and she makes her age whatever it is, look like an exciting season to live. She even once responded to me! I have been in the season of needing an example when it comes to the art of being a woman. This doesn’t come easy to me, as I was the girl who refused to be girly. If I were a character in a movie they’d make me butch. All my life my close friends were boys. My interest weren’t normal, I’m technical and creative, I’m friendly and shy, I’m awkward and comfortable. I like fashion but hate high heels and fake eyelashes. I love music but get annoyed with shallow lyrics with any reference to the human anatomy. I’m weird but completely normal. I want to be unquie but don’t want to be noticed in the crowd.

I will end with a poem from Darling, written by Micheal Albanses and Wynn Everett. Sometimes men can see the beauty we hold that us women can’t see.

In her bedroom closet

hangs a mirror

reflecting quiet perseverance.

She chooses her own path

as she does a dress.

Slipping it over her head

she recalls the voice advising

her on the topic of significance.

Considering their words, she breathes.

At peace with the knowledge of who she already is.

Growing up can be fun.

The Dream Job Myth

My dream job was to work inside a very trendy creative building next to a window. As for what I did all day, I wasn’t sure. I did imagine working at a desk and at times walking around to make a copy. Blame my dream job on the WB network and the programming they had in the early 2000’s. I must have watched too much Smallville. smallville120.4

As my working career progressed I started to see what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go in life. By my early twenties I realized I didn’t want to be that busy career woman with a man suit on, with no family to call her own like the 90’s portrayed.  I wanted to live a calling impacting the lives of others. When I traveled overseas I got a glimpse of the power of production it can have on a church, their community and the world. By now, every Christian or Justin Bieber fan has heard of Hillsong. The experience I had when I was a part of the church family, was how I could make a difference in the lives of people by creating videos. I could say what I wanted to say without having to get on a stage and talk! It was the perfert introvert job.

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When I moved into my perfect dream job, I realized I wanted more. The classic human experience, you get that you want and see its not really what you want. I was enjoying myself but I didn’t think I was really making the difference like I wanted to do. I felt like my life wasn’t counting. Plus, I was busy, with no family to call my own. I did manage to avoid the pant suit.

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It wasn’t until I had no job, traveling the world (my third dream) and was left in a cafe did God finally had my hearts attention. It was in psalms that the words might as well said, “Dear Monica.” The theology of “follow your dreams” broke off my life, for the first time I could see what I really wanted, was to follow God’s dream. This whole time I had been going about it all wrong. I wrote in my journal. “God, my dream is to follow you. Where you lead, I will go.”

Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 10.34.44 AMI went back to my job, but was given a new position. My boss said, “Make the video department yours.” Whoa. God was giving me a place of influence to be in charge of a very large church media department. There has been hard times when I think in my heart, I’m not the chosen one, someone else can do it better. I am reminded by the confidence of my leaders, and those who love me; I am the right person for the task. Its been three years, and I am growing, I am learning, and everyday I am challenged. In a strange way I enjoy the stress, the pressure, the challenge and even talking with people! The first year I was scared to do anything, the second I was starting to get a back bone, and the magic three, I am finally stepping out and owning what was given to me. There has been times where I wish to go back into my editing hole and closed the door, but then I remember my conversation with God. He wants to take his people somewhere better than we can dream. He was even kind enough to bless me with an amazing boyfriend who reminds me to not give up, take courage, and don’t get discourage if things don’t work out like I thought. Usually it works out better than I imagined.