The more I think about the past six months, the honest the answers become to my questions. February I left my job to pursue editing in the industry and to move to Canada. It appears the reason I left wasn’t about my career, my goals, or anyone else but it was about getting on the right road to lead me to my fate.
At one point in all of our lives we stop and have to look at our self in the mirror. We ask our self questions we would commonly ask a stranger: Who are you? Where are you going?
If we are honest, most of the time we don’t know the answer to those questions. I guess we have to decide when we are going to answer them. Search for the truth? Or keep on moving in whatever direction you are moving towards.
After I left my job in February, I could feel myself getting lost – I no longer knew where I was going. I thought I was moving forward because I was going towards a goal I made five years ago but my inner dialogue was haunting me.
As I was living the dream, traveling the world, meeting new people, seeing new sights and drinking the best teas in the world, I was faced with a question every person ask themselves at one point, “Where do I belong?” I felt like I could live anywhere in the world and survive but the real question is, “Where do You want me God?”
From travel to travel, day-to-day, month to month, I asked this question. I received my answer in Paris but it wasn’t until I was in Vancouver did I listen.
“You belong at your post.”
The journey was needed to find the answer.
Those on the outside wont understand, they will think she failed. They will think she couldn’t find a job, they will whisper she tried. But I will say I went, I learned, I saw, I heard, I found peace, I found faith, I discovered the answer, I found where I belong, I found who I am, I know who I am following, I trust where He is leading, stopping was necessary, listening meant doing, and going back means I am ready to move forward.
The differences between me and others is that I want to go where He wants me not where they say I should be. Not even where I think I want to be. “I want my dream to be Your dream, it’s where I am the most happiest Father. You know me better than I will ever know myself, You know eternity.”
If the past few months were a movie, my life would be a Miniplot- opening ending, inner conflict, self discovery…yes, it would be your classic indie movie. The movie will end where it started.. San Bernardino, but the audience will leave the theater with a new discovery about where they are in their own life.
Next month, I will be returning to my old job to do a new job. A place that was created for me. A position with new challenges, responsibility, and possibilities. I will be in charge of the TV department, a boss, a supervisor, a leader. I have only been given a glimpse of where we will be going, but I know it’s somewhere no one thought possible, not even myself.
I finally made it to the correct platform.
Now Boarding a new adventure.