What could one do to stop time? Stand still and pretend they can no longer hear the ticking of the clock? Denial never did anyone good. I love the past just as much as I love the future, but being in the moment, I never seem to notice how great it is until its.. in the past.
I’ve been stuck in the stage of being alone. It seems that I am always.. by myself. With lots of great people around me during work, church and living at home, I can never seem to find one person to hang out with. And when I do, I look for ways to cancel.
I miss the days of having a neighbor to knock on their door to ask if they wanna come out and play. Or a school friend who wants to come over. My single friends think I’m always on dates with my future husband, my married friends think I’m always with my single friends, and my family thinks I’m busy doing world changing things. haha. Nope, I’m at a coffee shop hanging out, reading and thinking..alone. I enjoy it, but then I get bored. Now what?
When I was a little girl I imaged when I got engaged I was certain there would always be a man next to me. Grown ups never told me husbands have to go to work and leave you .. alone.
What should I do in this season? I’ve been asking myself this question all year.
As a creative, I know there is untaped talent inside of me that I need to explore.
When I look at my list of goals, most of them are crossed off. There is a new one I want to add, but I’m not sure if I’ve just been wanting too much of Friends. I can’t go back in time to the 90’s and live in New York in hopes to meet great loyal friends who want to listen about your day.
I’m a mid thirty goal achiever. Maybe its time I push myself into the uncomfortable zone.. and think of something new to do.
I did my twenties well, now I have no idea what to do in my thirties.
Babies? why not. haha Until then, I’ll change my domain name.