She came a month early, and some how I knew she would. We were on vacation when my water broke. I had taken the weekend off from work. I wondered what would have happened if I was in the control room and my water broke, who would take me to the hospital? Who would take over? I was lucky I had my husband with me. He drove me and talked to the nurses. It was hard to believe that we would leave this place with a baby. For years all we never knew was each other, and now we were going to have a combined person that has both of our DNA.
The baby had to pass a series of test before she was able to come home with me. I knew in my heart she was going to be okay, from the moment I prayed I wanted a child early 2017, I knew God was going to help me through every stage.
Now I write this at home, and she is six months taking her nap. A lot has happened since the first ride home from the hospital, sleepless night, arguments about if she is getting enough milk or how much should we feed her with everyone who came in contact with us. To this day, she is nursed and I wonder if she is getting enough milk, and some how she keeps growing. She is a miracle, and now that I think about it, we are all miracles. How did we make it this far?
I daily think about my own parents. I now remember moments of stress when they made a decision that would impact our lives. I remember my mom saying in faith when they wanted to buy a house, and my dad giving her a look like I’m not sure if I can do this for you. I remember seeing a house news clipping in her bible, and her telling me, “one day we will live in a house like this.” For me, it was easy to believe her. I had the child like faith, and I believed everything my mom told me. When we finally moved in to a house, I took it for granted how easy it all was.
And now its my turn to walk in faith for the sake of my husband and my daughter. Though she is just a baby, she is watching me. I pray with her the moments I get scared of the great unknown.
Last week was my last day at work. I have jumped all in to motherhood, the reality is that I did what I knew needed to be done. I needed to be with my daughter and raise her. I wanted her for so long, and now that she is here, it was time to embrace the gift I was given.
A part of me misses working and I know I will make videos still, but now the safety net is no longer there. I guess now the net I will fall into is God’s loving arms.
Today I read in the Bible when Mary told Jesus to do something when the wine had ran out at the wedding they were attending. Jesus told his mom the time had not yet come but she insisted and told the wedding servants to listen to everything Jesus tells them. He told the servants to fill the jars with water, when they poured the water for the guest it became wine. It made me think about my situation. I know God has spoken to my heart to be home with my daughter, but it doesn’t help I am worried we will no longer have wine in our jars. God is asking me to listen to everything Jesus commands, and that means to bring my water of jars to him, its His job to turn my water into wine.
Guess its time to start putting water in my jar labeled blog 🙂