Aging Hipster

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There’s this scene at the end of Angus (1995) where the nerd gets his moment to dance with the poplar girl in school. I remember watching it when I was in middle school and falling in love with the song they danced to. The dance was the climax of the movie with the classic speech and clap at the end. Angus tells off the popular bully! Every high schooler day dream!

After watching Angus in middle school, I was left wondering who the artist to the prom song was. It wasn’t until Napster came on the scene did I finally find it was called, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star.

I was a late arrival to Mazzy Star. By the early 2000’s most people were interested in boy bands. Artist that used real instruments like the acoustic guitar, tambourine, organ and harmonica were going out of style. But I didn’t care, she was new to me. Her albums became my personal alone writing in my journal music.

Last month, out of the blue, rumors of Mazzy’s come back was all over twitter. I was surprised so many other people loved her music. I told my boyfriend I know what I want for Christmas – Concert tickets! I knew this was a dream come true. For one, I finally have a boyfriend to go to a concert with!

When we got to the concert, it was like a reunion of late twenty and thirty somethings! Everyone carried evidence they were from the 90’s- Doc Martin shoes, plaid, leather biker jackets, jean jackets, long hair. I realized I’m apart of the aging hipsters. I saw a post from a kid on Instagram, “Waiting for my parents to get back from their concert.”

The acoustics of every instrument including her voice sound amazing. At one point I stood in the hallway because it reminded me the sound of prom.

Aging can sometimes be hard. We’re told younger is better, immaturity is fun, and you have all the time in the world to figure it out. But being thirty is not as bad as I thought. In fact, it’s pretty awesome. All the hard decisions from my twenties are paying off. The new challenge is to keep focus and diligent towards the goal.

I was motivated by my fellow Mazzy Star fans, to stay confident in being strange, and embrace the different stages of life. Though mostly everyone in that concert hall was now married, had children, and was done day dreaming of their 5th period crush, I witnessed them hold the person they dreamt of when they were younger tight. Part of the prize of getting older is maturing and adding new people in our life to love.

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I asked Gus why do we enjoy concerts so much, it’s just people on a stage? He answered, “We enjoy sharing the experience together, it makes us feel a part of what’s happening on stage.”

I was encouraged to remain hopeful no matter how old I get.. like my favorite band getting back together again.

Enjoy the scene from Angus.

Going back in Time

Today I went back in time. To a place I haven’t visited since I was eight years old.

I came home today and asked where my parents were going. They told me an old pastor friend died and tonight was his funeral. From my memory this man had always been old. He was my friend’s grandfather. The thought of him passing never crossed my mind though. He was a person who always was. He was a pastor from the church my family used to go to in the 90’s. I had my childhood at this place, and it was where I learned about God.

When I step in to the building I began to recognize the decorations. The cross that hug in the middle of the altar with a purple robe around it. The banners declaring, “He is the King of Kings.” Even the pulpit that I used to draw over and over as a child in church. The room was full of chatter, everyone who had ever called that church home was there. My fellow classmates where now grown adults with small children hanging on them.

My parents and I said our condolences to the family and made our way to the back to find a seat. As we passed rows and rows of people, I began to recognize faces I hadn’t seen since I was a child. Some people looked the same and others had aged dramatically. As service started, they began to singing old christian songs I hadn’t heard since I was a small kid. They had no graphics for the words but then again they had sung these songs for twenty years, even I knew all the songs by heart.

The pastor’s granddaughter and I used to play “church” when we were little girls.  We would wear my mom’s dresses and sing all the church songs. There was this one time when my friend’s grandfather preached and said, “It’s time we stop playing church.” We looked at each other and said, “Oh no, we can’t play church anymore!” I laugh now, knowing that he meant to no longer pretend to be a christian. haha..

Since this funeral was on their normal church service, they took up an offering. Their tithing envelope was exactly the same. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I even told my dad, “Look!” He then said, “Theirs the 10%”, and pointed to the cut out pieces of the coin. Here was my dad, teaching me the principal of tithing, as if I were once again eight years old looking at the picture. I asked for an envelope so I could keep it as a memento.

Oh what memories a funeral can bring back. How amazing one’s life can impact a crowd.

Today, I went back in time and visited my childhood church family. It was great seeing everyone again. I wish we were all still together.  But life happens, and everyone’s journey changes through time. Even though today everyone there said good bye to a great pastor, I really said my goodbye when I was eight. For me, that was the last time I saw him.

Even though we don’t know when someone is going to die, the same could be said about not knowing when someone we love might exit our lives forever. I find both are painful.

Here is a great song to leave you with: Autumn Leaves

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Timeline: American Highlights

This has probably been the largest project I’ve worked on so far. It took me two days to research, two days to find the footage, two days to put the footage together and three days to animate and 8 hours to RENDER.

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I was impacted by each major event that I had research. I always saw these events in movies or talked about by parents but watching them for the first time was like watching breaking news. I often said, “I can’t believe this really happened.”

I discovered that each generation is not alone, what they do dramatically affects the next. The movements the youth create play a big roll in society.  Also, each generation has a battle they must fight.

Watching the video on opening night of Women Rock Conference with a room full of 3,000 women was so rewarding. After the video was done playing,  I really felt we all went back in time to the 1940’s. The video set the conference off.

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