Lessons from a baby

I’ve always been a person who tries to learn lessons from life around me. It’s probably years of Sunday school classes and trying to find the lesson in the Bible stories.

I just started feeding my daughter, Portland solid foods. It’s been fun seeing her facial reactions to different vegetables and fruit. Her first reaction is usually unsure if she likes the new taste, by the second bite she is smiling big and wants more fast. She often tries to grab the spoon and put more in her mouth by herself. She once was so excited, she grabbed the small cup I was feeding her from and tried to eat it. I laughed and said, “You can’t eat the whole thing at once!” When I said it, I stopped and laughed to myself, so that’s what I’m trying to do! When it comes to all the new dreams and ideas I’m having, I’m trying to do everything at once. For the past month, I’ve been enjoying being a mom full time and being creative on the side whenever I get the chance. I started writing more here and making YouTube videos weekly. As I’m pouring my extra time into these areas I’m waiting like… ok when is this going to pay off? In other words, I’m trying to eat the cup just like my little girl. It doesn’t work that way, it’s one small bite at a time.

From the moment I learned how to do graphic design all the way to graduating as an editor, I’ve intern and got hired to help other people build their vision. I didn’t mind, since at 22 I didn’t really have one myself. It’s easier to help others build theirs. When it comes to my dreams, I’m often changing my mind on how to go about it, or ask the question; is it worth the risk? Rediscovering my creativity and refining new dreams has become a process in which I am learning new things about myself.

I guess if anything, my daughter is teaching me to enjoy the experience of life.

Thank you to those who enjoy my post and liking them, I hope you are also learning with me new things about life and are encouraged.

Preparation is Part of the Process

Sometimes it feels like the efforts we put into our personal work is useless and isn’t worth the time. If we were to calculate the hours we put into each project and see how much it’s costing us, it might cause us to give up. The only thing we know is that we love it and no one has to pay us to do it.

The pace of life can move so fast that we don’t have the time to prepare ourself. We hit record, or show up and rely on our past experience that we will know what to do next. But when is there time to study, read, and build? Be prepared for the opportunity to come is advice I’ve always taken to heart, but never really put it to action because I just didn’t have the time to. When do we have time to ask questions like, “What do you really want to do?” “What do you really want to make?””What impact on others do you want to have?”- let alone get them answered.

Now that I am at home with my daughter I am gifted with these open hours to do whatever I wish with my time while she sleeps. Because these moments can be 30 minutes to an hour, I have to use it wisely. For the first time in my creative life, I am able to work on work for myself. As I am taking the time to relearn a few things, research, read books that interest me, I am discovering new ideas and desires I never knew I had. When my daughter and I hang out at my local book store, I am noticing a pattern of what type of books I am picking up. Or when I work on youtube videos its allowing me for the first time to create for me. When I step back and see what all these things have in common. I can see clearly what it is I am passionate about. There is no job description for what it is I want to do, because it doesn’t exist.

I want to shout to the world all the things I am dreaming, but I know I have to invest time into my work before I can share anything. Every week I am showing up, putting in whatever hours I am able to. We hear these stories of how others are being successful, and I can’t help but wonder what the secret is. As I am pouring hours into my work, I am realizing it’s work. Preparing is part of the process, its what will make the difference between failure and success.

Yes I haven’t made any deposit into my back account, but I am pouring into my daughter, raising her, and when I get the chance pouring my creativity into myself. Building my dreams, hour by hour.

So I encourage you, whatever phase you are in, take sometime to prepare for what it is you really want to do. I’ve learned it doesn’t take hours like we use to do in school, but small breaks. Take the time to build something for yourself, your future self will thank you, and might even pay you.

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Youth or Reality?


I admit, I held on to my childhood as long as I could. It’s been a struggle allowing myself to growing up and now I have entered in the phase called aging. I still see myself as a young lady, although you have to be over 50 to refer to me as such. I often get the question if I have children, I think to myself, “Do I look old enough to have children?!” *Crying emoji.

I am now understanding why make-up was invited, I am noticing my face change and often wonder if there is anything I can do to prevent my fate. How do I stop time? It took me years to find myself beautiful, and now its fading away right before my eyes. I should have been more thankful when I was a teenager, instead of being worried about pimples. 

I am a deep creative, I shouldn’t care or spend time on such shallow things. As a person whose twenties was documented on social media, I can scroll through my profile photos and witness the camera get further and further away.

I am a sucker for looking at the past with the soft filter on.

2001, The world was changing, America had faced a turning point and I, myself was facing my own end of the world moment. I had been dumped by a boy who I thought I would spend my life with. He was the one who told me my dreams were impossible, and now he was no longer in my life to talk me out of being who I wanted to become. I was left alone with my faith in God, a few friends, and my art. I went to college because there was nothing else to do. The plan was to get married and have children right after high school, since I had no potential future husbands in line, I went to college to become a junk mail graphic designer. It wasn’t until I started to believe what God said, “All things are possible for those who believe” did my life turn into something better than I could have planned.

I often took the song lyric from Creep by Radiohead pretty seriously in my twenties to help me make any major decisions.

The line, “What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here” was my compass. I often felt out-of-place, so feeling in place was very noticeable.

When I got my first professional job as an intern with Warner Brother, I was asked what I wanted to do after the program. I knew I didn’t belong with the department as a graphic designer, so I told them I was going back to school to become an editor.  When I moved to Australia to edit with Hillsong, I often grew home sick. I would answer the Radiohead song, “Yes. God sent me, I belong here.” It was only when the job fell through did I take that as a sign to go back home. When I moved back to California it took me months to figure out the next step. I would cry out to God kicking and screaming that I don’t belong in San Bernardino. When I was going to move to Vancouver, I sat in the coffee shop realizing, it wasn’t the place for me. I had a life back home that was full of grace, I returned to my old job in a new position as the video department director. When I met this deep mysterious boy with long hair I had no idea if I belonged with him but knew I enjoyed his company. It was when he comforted me during a hard season, I knew he was who I belonged with.

Every obstacle, struggle, and victory is indeed worth the annoying lines on my face. I may be aging, for I always was, but it doesn’t mean I can’t keep my youthful heart that still believes, all things are possible.

Random or a Master Plan

DSCN6279Its summer time and I haven’t blog in a few weeks. Life at work has been busy and this week I’ve been on vacation. I usually would take this opportunity to travel overseas but I am suffering from the student loan crises of my generation. Of course I am working hard to overcome but its requiring sacrifice that has left me discouraged. I ran away to central California for a small time out. The interesting thing is I’m learning a lot about life here. I’m on my own, renting a room and have too much free time that I found myself eating dinner at the local park. No one should ever stay in an apartment for too long. Too easy to lose your mind

rs_560x415-130405113849-1024.Office.mh.040513The past few weeks I’ve been in a Netflix coma completing The Office. I have been a fan from the start, and nine years later watching the last season made me realize why I enjoyed it so much. I find it funny because I totally relate to adults trying to figure life out. Doubting their journey, doubting their decisions, fearing the unknown, staying with the familiar. The Office captures American Culture from the 2000’s perfectly. The recession, the dreams and reality of adulthood. I imagine the writers behind these shows struggling with the same things their characters did. Who knew it would end with such a profound thought.
“It all seems so arbitrary, I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring I took a desk in the back because it was empty, but no matter how you get there or where you end up human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.”
Cred, The Office.

Before my trip I was asking myself a question:
Is life random or is there a master design plan? My common sense brain says random but when I look back at my life, its as if it was designed. At those moment of feeling lost, I know I can trust in Him with my journey and when I’m 80 years old looking back, I can share my life story as a beautiful tail, and transform every challenge into the victory that changed my destiny.

As an editor by nature, I am learning its okay to not have everything figured out, some how the story always comes together by stepping back to reflect and paying attention to the small details.

There’s a lot of beautiful in ordinary things. – Pam, The Office 

Self Help Junkie

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I’m on the verge of becoming a self help junkie. But fear not. I promised myself the next book I read will either be about production or a biography.
During the Christmas holidays I found myself lazy, fat and exhausted from the previous months of work, life and goals setting. I came across this book, You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Such a shocking title for this little Christian girl, but this slap to the face title caught my attention.
This is one of those books that I’m not sure if I should share, because it can be a little new-agey, but Jen Sincero shared some amazing concepts on moving pass self doubt and walking in faith. I enjoyed the challandge of finding scriptures to go along with some principles. This book taught me how to put faith into action, and not just saying, “God is in control” but to see that God wants me to playing a role in creating my destiny, seeing things hope for, the evidences of things not see. (Heb 11:1)

Every chapter help me realize my thoughts where effecting my reality and letting go of false beliefs. Things I grew up believing that weren’t true, where still haunting me, I can never live in a house like that. I saw myself still as a child, I’m just a little Mexican girl, was effecting my work and confidence. The chapter on meditation reminded me of the scriptures,

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. (Psalms 19:14)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is nodal, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praise worthy think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 4:8)

It also brought to light one of my largest fear, it encouraged me to thank my fears for trying to product me and to speak truth to it and encourage myself.

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Quotes – Jen Sincero

Our greatest fears are the greatest waste of time

…it’s much scarier in your mind than it is in reality.

We’ve made fear being a habit.

It touched on making decisions, which for me I would wait things out.

Being so afraid that if they pick one thing, they’ll miss out on another, so they either choose to do nothing or try to do everything, which are both excellent ways to miss out on all of it. They basically decide to never decide because they don’t want to make the wrong decision…

Deciding is freedom. Indecision is torture.

Indecision is one of the most popular tricks for staying stuck within the boundaries of what’s safe and familiar.

I was encouraged to create a vision board, searching for what I really want in life was a bit exciting. As I was putting my board together everything seem possible.

Your beliefs hold the key to your financial success

Most of the time its not a lack of experience that holds us back but rather the lack of determination…

What you choose to focus on becomes your reality.

Yeah.. I’m done self doubting.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Everything you do along your journey contributes to where you’re going.  Jen Sincero

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The Art of No

No one likes to hear the word no. For most babies nodding their heads no is the first sign of communication. We were born to say no, than why do we keep saying yes to everything? Why do we allow fancy advertising, popular opinion, and the crowd determine our decisions? We often think the word no is for others but what about when it comes to our self?

I’ve been learning the power of telling myself no. Two of my goals is to pay off my student loans and to eat healthy. This is no easy task. It required sacrifice, self control, and saying that word we hate; No.

No, you can’t eat out everyday. No, you don’t need that shiny new phone. No, you don’t need to watch two hours of Netflix. No, you don’t need to be on every social network out there.

It can go deeper than that. Saying no to fear, worry, failure, negativity, or being disobedient to God. The hard stuff that takes a life time to learn.

I’m just a few weeks into it and I’m already seeing the benefits. Mostly in my character. I am able to practice self-control. Saying no to my every desires has saved me money, calories, forced me to learn how to cook and made me a stronger person.

My goals keep me from giving in. I see myself in a beautiful home with my husband and future kids. I do it for them. I know what I do now as a single 30 year old, will effect who I become tomorrow.

If you haven’t learnt the art of no, try it out. It opens so many doors of saying yes. Yes to success, health, financial peace, and more than we can imagined. I have accept the challenge of growing up.

Is there anything in your life you should saying no to?

Art influences, changes and can create a new world. Learning to say no will help me learn when to say yes.

Like taking a day out to visit an art museum.

Summer Doubt

The ugly side of being creative is feeling like you no longer have any ideas. The moment the darkness of doubt comes in, we suddenly begin to compare ourselves to others. And the worst thing we can do is stop believing we are creative.

The truth is, being creative takes work, hard work. Some might pretend like they are born with million dollar ideas but if they were honest, they would tell you about the research and reading that went into leading them to their idea. They might even say it was an idea they had been working on for years.

Creative ideas take energy, they require waking up early in the morning to capture the morning sunlight, it requires saying no to hanging out because you promised yourself you’d finish your current film book. If we feel like we are out of ideas, its time to take a look at how much we’ve invested.

Summer can be the worst season for coming up with creative ideas. One major reason, is there is so much fun stuff to do. The sun is shinning outside, who wants to be inside reading? Everyone is outside traveling, and instagraming how great their summer is. Its also hot and muggy everywhere you go.

So what to do when the summer doubt comes?

Know that even Hollywood takes a break from production in the summer. What you can do is talk about your project with someone. The person you decide to talk to might be currently inspired or their thoughts can lead you to that idea you’ve been searching for. If you can, take a day off or a mini-vaction. Let your mind think about other things.

Most of all enjoy the summer. Remember you are creative, and your best idea is yet to come! Gather memories with the people you love, put your computer down, journal imminently when those deep thoughts come, and stay off social networks because they will make you feel even less creative!

Autumn will be here soon and give you so much inspiration, you’ll be blogging about it everyday while you enjoy your hot coffee and comfy sweater!

Give It Some Grace Space

A few weeks ago, when I was directing I said a phase that made me stop in my tracks. As I was teaching a new volunteer how to use the follow camera I told him, “the tighter you are in, the harder it is to follow. Why don’t you give yourself some grace space and zoom out a little.”

When I heard the phase grace space come out of my mouth, I began to think about what that meant. I started to think about past experiences since being an adult. I remember being 18 having to make some big decisions. I wasn’t sure what I was suppose to do or where I was suppose to go. I had no money, only a high school diploma, and no experience.

The only thing I had was grace.

I remember praying and asking God for direction. He helped me see who I was and why I was. From there, I realized I was creative and could make something of this. Now that I am close to being 30, looking back, I see my path was perfectly planed. Some of the biggest obstacles that I faced helped me figure out where to go next.

Though you may not have it all figured out, that’s okay. Give it some grace space, zoom out a little. 🙂

 

 

Chasing Fame

Its odd to admit but in some way we are all guilty of chasing fame. We strive to be noticed from an early age, we can recall yelling for someone to look at us as we do some trick. In high school, we wish to sit at the cool table with the popular kids. And now as an adult, we talk about how many people are following us on social networks. Most say, Please keep looking at me once they got everyone’s attention.

But there most be a deeper meaning to fame – other wise, whats the point.

fame |fām|
noun
the condition of being known or talked about by many people, esp. on account of notable achievements:

I am reminded of Joseph from the Bible. He was a young Hebrew boy who became a ruler over Egypt. His brothers sold him as a slave to the Egyptians when he was just a teenager. It is said the brothers were jealous of the favor Joseph had with their father and hated hearing about his dream that one day they would bow to him.

He spent most of his life in prison and God was with him, giving him much favor and success with those who were in charge of him. When Pharaoh was haunted by a dream, rumor was, Joseph interpreted dreams. When Pharaoh told the dream to Joseph, it was his big opportunity of fame. Joseph responded, “I cannot do it..but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires.” Joseph’s interruption ultimately saved nations from famine. Pharaoh in return made him a ruler over Egypt.

After so many years in prison, Joseph most have realized what his dream of greatness really meant. At first his young heart thought it was about him, but as his life seemed to turn for the worse, he had to trust God was doing something bigger than his dream. During those confusing years for Joseph, he chose to helped others in prison, chose to forgive his family and chose to work hard. And with that type of character, he was able to lead a nation through a time of famine and save so many lives.

It was no longer about fame but about what God wanted to do.

Joseph wasn’t chasing fame, he was just trying to live a life pleasing to God. And in return, God gave him power to rule Egypt which helped him save his family. Joesph’s fame made a difference. Those years of being unknown and unseen built up his character. Joseph walked though fame’s door and made a difference in his generation.

Fame is powerful, it can destroy a person if handle wrong. We now see Joseph had to go through all those troubling times because the task ahead required someone with the right heart. Joseph had the type of fame that mattered. That’s the type of fame we should chase. The fame that makes a difference.

The Joy of being Flawed

There is joy in being flawed,

it’s a reminder of being a part of humanity.

There is much to learn about being imperfect,

it teaches us the impossibility of doing life alone.

When I make a mistake I am comforted with grace.

When I am unaware, I see there is much to know.

Weakness displays His strength.

Grace displays His love.

The days when I feel I am common,

I look in the mirror and see there is no one like me.

The years when it seems like I haven’t achieved much,

I look back at the road I have overcome.

Faith transforms our shortcomings into a conflict won,

the only flaw I see is when I give up trying to overcome.

My Wish for Her

I ‘ve been meaning to write this post for the past month. The problem is its deep. Where to start? Where to end?

A few weeks ago I was at the car wash. I was sitting outside reading a book waiting. I felt eyes on me, when I discovered who it was, it was a 7-year-old girl. Her mom was on the phone, and her little girl couldn’t get her eyes off me. It was as if she was fascinated I was reading a book. When I looked in to her eyes, I began to wish I could tell her, “You are beautiful and smart. You can do anything you dream of if you work hard, read books and never stop learning!”

I smiled at her and saw two different movies of her life pass before me. One with her knowing her value, and the other believing the lies girls grow up with. Most misunderstand their feminine power, and use their beauty for manipulation. Seeking significance in wrong places.

For thanksgiving, I visited my boyfriend side of the family. He has two young nieces. The moment they saw me they wanted to pull me into their world. The first thing I noticed was they demanded my eye contact. They wanted to look in my eyes and be heard. What a difference from my two nephews who wish I would leave them alone. My boyfriend asked me what I thought about his two nieces. When we were talking about how different girls are from boys, I began to wish I could tell them, “You are beautiful and smart. You can do anything you dream of if you work hard, read books and never stop learning!”

The third time I wished this, was when my friend was telling me a story about this 19-year-old girl who recently broke up with her boyfriend. They told me how hurt she was and the trouble she was getting herself in to. I realized our stories were similar, at age 19, I had forgotten my value too. It was then did I make a decision I would find my worth in the Father.

The moment I turned over my broken mirror to Him, my image was forever changed. Only then did I believe, “I am beautiful and smart. I can do anything I dream of if I work hard, read books and never stop learning!”

My hope is that my wish will be her reality and finds her beauty in the One who created her.

Blog: I am the Painting

This morning I had an idea to paint. I never really painted before but thought why not try. I had some supplies I bought years ago but never used. I also wanted to try time lapsing, so I set up my camera and pointed it towards my work station.

As I started painting, it began to speak to me. Each stroke was meaning something, what I was feeling was coming out on the canvas. If I was nervous, you could see it in my strokes. When I was confident, my lines were coming out smooth. Each line was significant.

After a half an hour of painting, I became eager to finish. I realized I’ve been like that with God. I am telling Him to hurry up, I want to see the ending! But a painting like the ones I saw in Paris were not rushed. God is the painter and I am the painting.

But I wait with hope for You, O Lord…My life span is nothing compared to Yours..Entrust your ways to the Lord. Trust Him and He will act on your behalf.  -King David.

Audio: Coffee with the Briano Sisters

Today I called for an emergency meeting with my sister.

A few years ago, we would meet up once a week and have a bible study at a coffee shop. Since then my older sister started law school, my middle sister had two kids, and I became obsess with work.

Siting there sharing coffee (we bought two and spilt it). We began to talk about social media.

“Its a reality away from reality.” – Sarah

“Because we have each other on facebook doesn’t mean we don’t have to visit in person. Put down the media and lets talk to our family.” -Eva

Eva started telling us about helping one another, helping strangers. To listen to those who are talking to us. To not be so distracted by things that eat up our time.

“…pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” 1 Tim 6:12

Hearing from my older sisters about their every day battles made me realize this bible study wasn’t for them but for me. Everything they were saying was hitting home. Sarah began to talk about loving God with our mind…

“…”Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; ..” Luke 10:27

“The more you read [the bible], the more you’ll be able to hear from God.” – Sarah

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. Gal 5:16

It was my turn.. I had no idea what to share.. so I began to tell them how good things are, but one thing I lack and miss.. My hunger. “I feel like I’m sleep walking.”

I shared, Psalm 89:1

“Your unfailing love will last forever. Your faithfulness is as enduring as the heavens.”Ps. 89

“Every morning, I gotta remember who God is. Things may be good but no matter what I have to keep my trust in God. ” -me.

We ended the night by praying for my dad. He almost got killed a few weeks ago at his job. He works with trains and one almost ran him over. We prayed that he will be safe, that he will get a better job that gave him weekends and night off. We just all missed him.

“Many will ask us, how did we get to where we are at? -Years of perseverance.” – Eva.

I share this family meeting to encourage you to connect with people you love, sit and talk with them. It will leave you refreshed.

 

Film: Learning how to walk

As I was cleaning my room, I was captured by a photo I took a few years ago. It was my first roll of film with an old SLR. I had asked my family to come outside as I tested the camera. It had been years since I taken any photos.

I remember looking through the eye piece for the first time and how it awakened my heart for photography.  Something inside of me sparked as I captured my dad helping my nephew walk.

My family went with me to pick up the prints that day. We were so excited we looked at them inside the store. The photo developer said, “They came out good, this one is my favorite” and handed me the photo of my dad holding my nephew’s little hand. We stood there and all said, “Wow.” Not because of me or the camera but something very special was captured.

This picture of my dad holding my nephew’s hand makes me think of how God helps us in life. We think we have to do it on our own, carry every burden and worry, but God offers His hand.

When he falls, he will not be thrown down headfirst because the LORD holds on to his hand.

Psalm 37:34

Being Still.. It’s not so easy.


It’s interesting how hard it is to be still. Even watching Jacob, my nephew, it was hard for him to stay in one spot.

Today I woke up pretty stick. I slept most of the day but for a few hours when I was awake, my nephews were here visiting.
Strange thing is that my three year old nephew came in my room and hung out with me. As I laid in bed he began to tell me about his world. He saw a baby photo I had taken of him and we began to talk about growing up. I even witnessed him playing with his imaginary friend Jessie.

Being still wasn’t easy for me. As you can tell, I had my camera right next to me snapping photos. haha. Being sick makes you appreciate being healthy. It also teaches us to notice the small things in life that make it so great.

What is Beautiful

I don’t think we realize or appreciate the real beauty behind us all. We live life so fast, we don’t take the time to notice how complex and unique we all are.  We believe what is beautiful is what we see in advertisement or films, but what we all fail to do is ask the right questions about each other. What is beautiful to me is life. Through heartache or pain, celebration or victory, every event in our lives makes us who we are. It’s up to us if we let what happens in life destroy us or make us stronger.

I created these shots to suppose each thought in the poem. Enjoy.

 

The Future of Possibilities

Today as I came in to the church office I saw a young man taking out the trash. I then pictured him as one of the young pastors of the church. I pictured him with his daughter in one arm, the bible in the next and his wife beside him. A man in his destiny. I could clear see what his life would look like as one of the pastors of the church. I then wonder if he ever saw this for his life.   Not that a pastor is the greatest spiritual goal but its a place that many wouldn’t ever see themselves being good enough for.

“Good enough.” It’s something we battle with all of our lives. At the end of the day it matters how we see our selves. God has done his part, he had the most poetic love letter written called the Bible. He tells us, “Be strong and courageous”,  “For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

There were once these blind men who wanted their sight. They came before Jesus and Jesus told them, “According to your faith let it be to you.” Their eyes were then open. This made me think of the dreams I’ve told Christ about. I image Him having the same responds..

“According to your faith let it be to you.” Looks like Jesus put the ball in our court, He is now waiting for our heart to align with His plans for our life.  Proverbs says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

If we can get our heart connected to His, then we will be able to see what He sees…The Future of Possibilities.

2011

The year has gone and past

the new is here and bright.

Hope fills our being of

things not yet seen.

The possibility of what may be,

the birth of what will come,

and the joy of arriving at a dream

will go further than what we know.

In fact, it will live past our very own soul.

Happy New Years.

There is so much in store.