Language of Faith


IMG_3804Learning the language of faith feels like reading words backwards. It goes against every thought in the mind. When you speak the language out loud, its as if you start to walk towards the sky, flying above all that you’ve ever known to be reality.

The language of God doesn’t have the words like, “I feel” and “I think”. In the end, it has nothing to do with our power but the power given to us. The knowledge is freely given but cost everything you’ve ever known. What you thought was true suddenly becomes flawed. It awakens a part of your brain you didn’t know existed. You can physically feel the differences in your being when you speak this language. My self confidence of, I can do anything transforms to, He already did it all.

The language of faith is the language that existed before breath was given. It’s not of words or symbols but a reality that exists beyond what we see. It has no timeline, it always is and always was. Its a language anyone can learn but only few use. It reminds me I know nothing and yet tells me the mysteries of His will have been made known. The language expresses how much we are valued that we were indeed worth it all. The language of faith is a language that goes beyond all we know and goes beyond all we see.


music by: To Our God – Bethel Music

Self Help Junkie


I’m on the verge of becoming a self help junkie. But fear not. I promised myself the next book I read will either be about production or a biography.
During the Christmas holidays I found myself lazy, fat and exhausted from the previous months of work, life and goals setting. I came across this book, You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Such a shocking title for this little Christian girl, but this slap to the face title caught my attention.
This is one of those books that I’m not sure if I should share, because it can be a little new-agey, but Jen Sincero shared some amazing concepts on moving pass self doubt and walking in faith. I enjoyed the challandge of finding scriptures to go along with some principles. This book taught me how to put faith into action, and not just saying, “God is in control” but to see that God wants me to playing a role in creating my destiny, seeing things hope for, the evidences of things not see. (Heb 11:1)

Every chapter help me realize my thoughts where effecting my reality and letting go of false beliefs. Things I grew up believing that weren’t true, where still haunting me, I can never live in a house like that. I saw myself still as a child, I’m just a little Mexican girl, was effecting my work and confidence. The chapter on meditation reminded me of the scriptures,

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. (Psalms 19:14)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is nodal, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praise worthy think about such things. (Philippians 4:8 4:8)

It also brought to light one of my largest fear, it encouraged me to thank my fears for trying to product me and to speak truth to it and encourage myself.

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Quotes – Jen Sincero

Our greatest fears are the greatest waste of time

…it’s much scarier in your mind than it is in reality.

We’ve made fear being a habit.

It touched on making decisions, which for me I would wait things out.

Being so afraid that if they pick one thing, they’ll miss out on another, so they either choose to do nothing or try to do everything, which are both excellent ways to miss out on all of it. They basically decide to never decide because they don’t want to make the wrong decision…

Deciding is freedom. Indecision is torture.

Indecision is one of the most popular tricks for staying stuck within the boundaries of what’s safe and familiar.

I was encouraged to create a vision board, searching for what I really want in life was a bit exciting. As I was putting my board together everything seem possible.

Your beliefs hold the key to your financial success

Most of the time its not a lack of experience that holds us back but rather the lack of determination…

What you choose to focus on becomes your reality.

Yeah.. I’m done self doubting.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Everything you do along your journey contributes to where you’re going.  Jen Sincero

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Get Up or Give Up

It’s so easy to live in a small world on cruse control. We see and talk to the same people, the routine of life makes everyday easy.  The moment there is a challenge, it can feel like the world is ending.

Today, I met up with the girls who volunteer with the video department. I lie to myself and say I plan it for them, but every time I leave our meet ups, I am encouraged by hearing their journey. Many of them are new to church, and hearing the battles they faced remind me that whatever I am going through, it too will have a purpose greater than myself.

I am encouraged to keep pressing forward by the transformation and growth I see in them.

When I was a teenager, I knew my purpose was to impact my generation for God. I have always been a small girl with a big dream. Hearing about the fight others faced, helps me see I can’t give up the fight of faith. Just this morning I felt so exhausted a part of me wondered why am I trying so hard? Why not just give up?

Giving up the fight and pulling the covers over my head is the easy thing to do. Getting up and doing something about it, is a lot harder. This morning I cast my worries to Him, I prayed for the people who are in my life, team, and world. We all have battles to face in our life, no matter how put together we think we are, the differences from failure and success is the decision to get up or give up.

The vision God has placed on your heart, when challenges appear, you can overcome them because in our weakness, He is made strong.

The View from Up Top

Last weekend, Gus and I took a drive to the mountains. When we stop for a rest, we were able to see our city. Suddenly the world looked so peaceful. I joked and said, “So this is God’s point of view huh.” As I said that I was reminded He is not far but living with me, experiencing everything I am.

“I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalms 121:1

Video: Know the Culture

Marketing says know your audience, as a mega church media director I say, know the culture.

The mistake I made in the past was looking too much at videos made by other churches. It took me years to realized what type of church I was apart of. It was only then was I able to create genuine projects that reflected the life of my church. The Rock is an inner city type church, a melting pot of different cultures, age groups and personalities. I had to connect my heart to what God was doing at the Rock. What works great in the OC may not work great for people in the IE.

When creating media, it starts with your heart and perspective. No matter the size of your church, if you are their editor, stop and see what is taking place in front of you.

Ask yourself what kinda culture your city is? What is the heart of your Pastors and leaders? The voice of the editor is important. You set up the details for guest who walk in to the building for the first time.

Become the eyes and ears of what God is doing. Don’t tell them, show them.

Here is a countdown I created to play before church. Though its on while everyone is walking around, getting to their seats, I wanted to show guest and those who’ve been coming to The Rock for years, what God is doing. We are moving and alive who cares about the people who live in our city.

I wanted to show the heart of what we believe in.
Helping people.

Blog: Now Boarding

The more I think about the past six months, the honest the answers become to my questions. February I left my job to pursue editing in the industry and to move to Canada. It appears the reason I left wasn’t about my career, my goals, or anyone else but it was about getting on the right road to lead me to my fate.

At one point in all of our lives we stop and have to look at our self in the mirror. We ask our self questions we would commonly ask a stranger: Who are you? Where are you going?

If we are honest, most of the time we don’t know the answer to those questions. I guess we have to decide when we are going to answer them. Search for the truth? Or keep on moving in whatever direction you are moving towards.

After I left my job in February, I could feel myself getting lost – I no longer knew where I was going. I thought I was moving forward because I was going towards a goal I made five years ago but my inner dialogue was haunting me.

As I was living the dream, traveling the world, meeting new people, seeing new sights and drinking the best teas in the world, I was faced with a question every person ask themselves at one point, “Where do I belong?” I felt like I could live anywhere in the world and survive but the real question is, “Where do You want me God?”

From travel to travel, day-to-day, month to month, I asked this question. I received my answer in Paris but it wasn’t until I was in Vancouver did I listen.

“You belong at your post.”

The journey was needed to find the answer.

Those on the outside wont understand, they will think she failed. They will think she couldn’t find a job, they will whisper she tried. But I will say I went, I learned, I saw, I heard, I found peace, I found faith, I discovered the answer, I found where I belong, I found who I am, I know who I am following, I trust where He is leading, stopping was necessary, listening meant doing, and going back means I am ready to move forward.

The differences between me and others is that I want to go where He wants me not where they say I should be. Not even where I think I want to be. “I want my dream to be Your dream, it’s where I am the most happiest Father. You know me better than I will ever know myself, You know eternity.”

If the past few months were a movie, my life would be a Miniplot- opening ending, inner conflict, self discovery…yes, it would be your classic indie movie. The movie will end where it started.. San Bernardino, but the audience will leave the theater with a new discovery about where they are in their own life.

Next month, I will be returning to my old job to do a new job. A place that was created for me. A position with new challenges, responsibility, and possibilities. I will be in charge of the TV department, a boss, a supervisor, a leader. I have only been given a glimpse of where we will be going, but I know it’s somewhere no one thought possible, not even myself.

I finally made it to the correct platform.
Now Boarding a new adventure.

Blog: I am the Painting

This morning I had an idea to paint. I never really painted before but thought why not try. I had some supplies I bought years ago but never used. I also wanted to try time lapsing, so I set up my camera and pointed it towards my work station.

As I started painting, it began to speak to me. Each stroke was meaning something, what I was feeling was coming out on the canvas. If I was nervous, you could see it in my strokes. When I was confident, my lines were coming out smooth. Each line was significant.

After a half an hour of painting, I became eager to finish. I realized I’ve been like that with God. I am telling Him to hurry up, I want to see the ending! But a painting like the ones I saw in Paris were not rushed. God is the painter and I am the painting.

But I wait with hope for You, O Lord…My life span is nothing compared to Yours..Entrust your ways to the Lord. Trust Him and He will act on your behalf.  -King David.

Blog: The Director’s Cut

The director’s cut is when the editor creates a specialized version that represent the director’s own approved edit. This sometimes means having more scenes with more information about the characters and can ultimately have a different ending.

The past few weeks I’ve been living the Director’s cut. Which isn’t bad, just not what I pictured. I prefer fast transitions and getting to the point, but it seems the Director is fond of subtle transformations that hold significant lessons. I am noticing these unexpected scenes are indeed adding beauty to my story. There are times when I receive random snippets and have no idea how they will fit with each other. Its up to me to do something with each component and prepare for what the Director gives me next. I can expect to make a few mistakes along the way, but all I can really do is learn from them.  Sometimes as an editor, what may have been a mistake might be the very thing I was looking for. So Im allowing myself to take a few risk.

I can see the theme of faith, hope, and courage. The heart of my character is being challenged. I am learning a lot about overcoming fear and trust. Though I am tempted to question the director’s art, I trust Him. He knows what He’s doing and where He is taking the story. After all, He knows the end.

The amazing thing is He listens to me. I tell Him what I think about the story and the vision I see when I close my eyes. He takes all my ideas in to account. When I least expect it, He hands me something better than what I dreamt of. I say, “Wow, you got this from my idea?” and He answers, “It was our idea, we dreamt it together, this project is as much as yours as it is mine.”

I want the movie of my life to be God’s heart beat.   Although I am eager to know what happens, I am telling myself to enjoy the journey and to keep on being a diligent worker- to be open, to learn, grown, create, dream, pursue, read, laugh, visit, travel, seek and love.

His Exchange Rate

During my drive home, I began to think about how different my life will be in a few days. I’ll be leaving a job I love. Why you ask? Because I am crazy. At least this is what I’ve told myself. The real reason is I know God’s exchange rate is awesome.
I started to remember of all the times I’ve held on to something tight and when I finally gave it to God, what He did with it.
A very hurt heart – When I gave it to God, He help me discover my creativity which brought me healing. It also led to studying graphic design and digital editing.
My desire to go to Bible College in Texas – Years passed and nothing came about. He then showed me Hillsong in Australia that had a theology and media program. I lived there for a year and a half and worked as an editor.
Hating my hometown and wanting to live in Australia forever – He placed me in a job that was about loving and caring for people in my hometown. At The Rock Church I learnt what it was to have His heart beat. I also discovered photography, my love for film making, leadership skills, and most of all confidence.
Worrying about what I’m going to do next month – Peace. He will lead me to the perfect job, as long as I keep following His guidance.
I now believe that I can do any job I put my heart into.
Though I don’t have another job lined up I know once I hand over this position to a new editor, God will continue to show me His awesome exchange rate. I’ve been saving up and preparing for this transition for a few years now, it’s time to take that step of faith and go for it.
After I thought all this I looked up. The sky was full of the most beautiful colors I have ever seen. It was like a painting. Can you believe this beautiful exist in the mist of our crazy world?

An Image of Hope

There are certain images I can’t seem to get out of my head. There was this moment years ago when I was jobless and pretty much hopeless. I felt useless and rejected by every job out there. Not only could I not find an editing job but not even the shallow mall jobs would hire me.

I remember one day when I went to the grocery store with my mom. I had nothing else to do and had to get out of the house. As we parked and got off the car I had my head down. As we walked to the door entrance of the store, I saw this little girl. She was about five. Her mom held her by the hand and was pulling her to walk faster. But this little girl had her eyes close and was taking in the sunset. She had the biggest smile on her face. The way the sunlight was hitting her face and the pure hope she had stayed with me. In fact it encouraged me through that season. I had to remember my child like hope and faith. I had to stop my negative thoughts and take in the sunset, to remember who God is and to forget what I am not. God soon opened up a door at The Rock Church for me to be a graphic designer, and a year later moved me in to the video department. Even though I didn’t find an editing job right away, I didn’t give up. I remembered the little girl and the hope she had. I too had to become a child and just trust in God.

Climbing the Mountain Cover

A few weeks ago I was at Forever 21 shopping and a song that I’d never heard of starting playing. I was taken by the lyrics and stood in the middle of the store listening.

“I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high..”

What powerful words. I totally related with the lyrics, each dream of mine has felt so large and impossible. I began to think of my friend Erica. She is one of the young girls at church who has this amazing voice, I pictured her singing it. From the first moment I heard her sing, I thought, “She is going to sing to the nations.”

The next part of the song says,

“There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb.”

This song was perfect for her, I saw her singing these words in an open field. A few days after I heard this song, we had dinner together. She shared some of her dreams with me and I was excited to hear that she was dreaming big for her life. After dinner I gave her a CD with this Miley Cyrus – The Climb song on it and told her, “This made me think of you, maybe you can sing it and Ill record you.” She later text me later and told me how much she loved the song and that would love to do a cover.

Well, here is the idea brought to life. I filmed with my Canon 7D and a 70-200mm lens. I wanted to keep it raw and simple. Erica did an amazing job. A big thank you to my friend Steve Hernandez for fixing my audio.

The Time is Coming

The time is coming
and soon it will arrive
when my bags are packed
and i drive towards the sun rise.
To the airport I go
and kiss my parents good bye
to a land that if far and alive.
A place full of strangers and
get a city full of friends.
Though all the details are a blur
i know that the time has come for me
to let go of all my fears.
To take a risk
and to leave those who are dear.
But first, I must thank a friend who pushed me
in to this gear.
He believed when I told him my dream,
he said, “Monica, you can do anything.”

I shall breathe your fresh air
and see your trees grow yellow
by the end of this year.

“Be strong and courageous and fear not, seek Me first and I will give you the desires of your heart, believe in Me and I will give you rest, just remember to cast all your cares upon Me. I created you for such a time as this. You are the beauty of Esther, the defender of beauty.”

“Lord not my will, but Your will. Where you go I will go. You lead and I will follow. You speak and I will listen. You say to believe in the impossible and to leave the possible. It is time I “cast down my neat”. I take a step forward and walk on the water towards you by expressing my secret dream to the world, ‘To have enough money to live anywhere in the world’, and now that I do, I choose to be with you… in the impossible.”