No one ever wants to admit they are afraid. The first thing someone hears when they admit their fear is, “Don’t be a scaredy cat.” Thank you person for comforting my fear as if we were on the playground.
Fears change over the years, something so small can become a monster that seems like a giant to kill. First I was afraid of high school, I had no choice but to overcome due to my mom forcing me out of the car almost every day. I’ve had to often overcome by “jumping off the clip” and see what happens.
As a creative professional, I was noticing I wasn’t calling out my fear. I was ignoring it and hope the challenges would go away. I kept putting off new areas of responsibility and in the end realized it was hurting my team. It was up to me to lead, and that meant go first.
I’ve always enjoyed and excelled in post production, its where I am most comfortable. When it comes to understanding how the video control room worked and the art of live production, thats another story. This past year I had to comfort my insecurities by admitting they were there. Not only to myself but to my team. That meant I needed to forget pride and admit I don’t have the answers to everything.
Who ever thought overcoming fear would mean to take the time to do so. I had to become a student of the live production world. I had to take physical steps of faith to figure things out. That meant, making mistakes and if possible doing so in private.
One of my biggest fears was if a projector went out. I was more afraid of this then if end of the world took place (a projector going out is more like able.) The truth was, I didn’t know what to do! Finally, this week, I told my live production crew, lets prepare for Easter by changing out the light bulbs and dusting off the projectors, take care of what we can, and make some calls manufactures if we had any questions. -Right, I sound like I know what I’m doing. As we we went up to the cat walk, and began to change the bulbs, and dust the projectors. I started to see, this wasn’t so scary after all. When we completed the task I thought about the large monster I built up in my head and how foolish I was.
I came home that night to hear that my parents helped changed the projector bulbs of my uncle at his small church. I laughed to myself because my parents had no idea I had just did the same and this was me killing my giant. I praised them, knowing it wasn’t an easy task.
No fear is so stupid or small to overcome, the first step is to make a decision, you’re gonna overcome it.. the rest will follow.