What is God’s dream for me?

Sometimes I forget that I once had a specific dream, how hard it was to keep it alive and make it happen. The past few days, I’ve heard people tell me they want to do their dream job. I even asked one woman what her dream was, and she said, “I don’t know.” I guess we have heard do your dream job for so long, that some don’t know what that is, they just know they want it and unknowingly limit their life purpose to a job title.

At church, we are having a missionary conference. Hearing missionaries and entrepreneur speak, one thing they’ve all said, “I had no idea I would be doing this, and if I did, I would have ran.” As I listen to them I see they are living God’s dream for their life, each person’s story was unique, but had the similar journey of kicking and screaming when they were told to do something other than what was in their plan. We have no idea what the future holds, especially when we are so brave enough to say, “God do what You will.”

I know for me, when I was 19,  my dream job was to edit films. It was that vision that brought me to where I am now, thirteen years ago, my profession didn’t exist. My imagination did the best it could, but there had to come a time where I laid that vision down and pick up the plan of God. I knew I wanted to live a life of purpose that impacts other people to influence others. As I find myself in the 8th year of working at church, I ask myself why am I so passionate about it? Shouldn’t I be burnt out? Over it? Ready for something new? When I listen to what God is telling me through His peace, I know I am where I am supposed to be.

When I was in Canada about to make the move, I suddenly realized, it wasn’t about my dream but God’s – that was the dream I wanted. That was the vision for my life I would run with. I know it’s so easy to say the script in your head, My dream job my dream job, but what if we thought about God’s dream for our lives? I often wonder what if I refused to lay down my will, where would I be? My imagination plays a movie of a rebellious girl trying to make things happen and is exhausted. Yesterday my pastor said, “God will come through for you, unless you’re in the wrong spot.”

We don’t know the future, might as well connect with the one who does, and who WANTS to do great and mighty things that will IMPACT the world in someway that doesn’t make sense to us at the moment, but when 70 years old looking back, it does.

That’s the dream I want to live.

Chasing Fame

Its odd to admit but in some way we are all guilty of chasing fame. We strive to be noticed from an early age, we can recall yelling for someone to look at us as we do some trick. In high school, we wish to sit at the cool table with the popular kids. And now as an adult, we talk about how many people are following us on social networks. Most say, Please keep looking at me once they got everyone’s attention.

But there most be a deeper meaning to fame – other wise, whats the point.

fame |fām|
noun
the condition of being known or talked about by many people, esp. on account of notable achievements:

I am reminded of Joseph from the Bible. He was a young Hebrew boy who became a ruler over Egypt. His brothers sold him as a slave to the Egyptians when he was just a teenager. It is said the brothers were jealous of the favor Joseph had with their father and hated hearing about his dream that one day they would bow to him.

He spent most of his life in prison and God was with him, giving him much favor and success with those who were in charge of him. When Pharaoh was haunted by a dream, rumor was, Joseph interpreted dreams. When Pharaoh told the dream to Joseph, it was his big opportunity of fame. Joseph responded, “I cannot do it..but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires.” Joseph’s interruption ultimately saved nations from famine. Pharaoh in return made him a ruler over Egypt.

After so many years in prison, Joseph most have realized what his dream of greatness really meant. At first his young heart thought it was about him, but as his life seemed to turn for the worse, he had to trust God was doing something bigger than his dream. During those confusing years for Joseph, he chose to helped others in prison, chose to forgive his family and chose to work hard. And with that type of character, he was able to lead a nation through a time of famine and save so many lives.

It was no longer about fame but about what God wanted to do.

Joseph wasn’t chasing fame, he was just trying to live a life pleasing to God. And in return, God gave him power to rule Egypt which helped him save his family. Joesph’s fame made a difference. Those years of being unknown and unseen built up his character. Joseph walked though fame’s door and made a difference in his generation.

Fame is powerful, it can destroy a person if handle wrong. We now see Joseph had to go through all those troubling times because the task ahead required someone with the right heart. Joseph had the type of fame that mattered. That’s the type of fame we should chase. The fame that makes a difference.

Blog: Now Boarding

The more I think about the past six months, the honest the answers become to my questions. February I left my job to pursue editing in the industry and to move to Canada. It appears the reason I left wasn’t about my career, my goals, or anyone else but it was about getting on the right road to lead me to my fate.

At one point in all of our lives we stop and have to look at our self in the mirror. We ask our self questions we would commonly ask a stranger: Who are you? Where are you going?

If we are honest, most of the time we don’t know the answer to those questions. I guess we have to decide when we are going to answer them. Search for the truth? Or keep on moving in whatever direction you are moving towards.

After I left my job in February, I could feel myself getting lost – I no longer knew where I was going. I thought I was moving forward because I was going towards a goal I made five years ago but my inner dialogue was haunting me.

As I was living the dream, traveling the world, meeting new people, seeing new sights and drinking the best teas in the world, I was faced with a question every person ask themselves at one point, “Where do I belong?” I felt like I could live anywhere in the world and survive but the real question is, “Where do You want me God?”

From travel to travel, day-to-day, month to month, I asked this question. I received my answer in Paris but it wasn’t until I was in Vancouver did I listen.

“You belong at your post.”

The journey was needed to find the answer.

Those on the outside wont understand, they will think she failed. They will think she couldn’t find a job, they will whisper she tried. But I will say I went, I learned, I saw, I heard, I found peace, I found faith, I discovered the answer, I found where I belong, I found who I am, I know who I am following, I trust where He is leading, stopping was necessary, listening meant doing, and going back means I am ready to move forward.

The differences between me and others is that I want to go where He wants me not where they say I should be. Not even where I think I want to be. “I want my dream to be Your dream, it’s where I am the most happiest Father. You know me better than I will ever know myself, You know eternity.”

If the past few months were a movie, my life would be a Miniplot- opening ending, inner conflict, self discovery…yes, it would be your classic indie movie. The movie will end where it started.. San Bernardino, but the audience will leave the theater with a new discovery about where they are in their own life.

Next month, I will be returning to my old job to do a new job. A place that was created for me. A position with new challenges, responsibility, and possibilities. I will be in charge of the TV department, a boss, a supervisor, a leader. I have only been given a glimpse of where we will be going, but I know it’s somewhere no one thought possible, not even myself.

I finally made it to the correct platform.
Now Boarding a new adventure.

Blog: The Director’s Cut

The director’s cut is when the editor creates a specialized version that represent the director’s own approved edit. This sometimes means having more scenes with more information about the characters and can ultimately have a different ending.

The past few weeks I’ve been living the Director’s cut. Which isn’t bad, just not what I pictured. I prefer fast transitions and getting to the point, but it seems the Director is fond of subtle transformations that hold significant lessons. I am noticing these unexpected scenes are indeed adding beauty to my story. There are times when I receive random snippets and have no idea how they will fit with each other. Its up to me to do something with each component and prepare for what the Director gives me next. I can expect to make a few mistakes along the way, but all I can really do is learn from them.  Sometimes as an editor, what may have been a mistake might be the very thing I was looking for. So Im allowing myself to take a few risk.

I can see the theme of faith, hope, and courage. The heart of my character is being challenged. I am learning a lot about overcoming fear and trust. Though I am tempted to question the director’s art, I trust Him. He knows what He’s doing and where He is taking the story. After all, He knows the end.

The amazing thing is He listens to me. I tell Him what I think about the story and the vision I see when I close my eyes. He takes all my ideas in to account. When I least expect it, He hands me something better than what I dreamt of. I say, “Wow, you got this from my idea?” and He answers, “It was our idea, we dreamt it together, this project is as much as yours as it is mine.”

I want the movie of my life to be God’s heart beat.   Although I am eager to know what happens, I am telling myself to enjoy the journey and to keep on being a diligent worker- to be open, to learn, grown, create, dream, pursue, read, laugh, visit, travel, seek and love.

Audio: Coffee with the Briano Sisters

Today I called for an emergency meeting with my sister.

A few years ago, we would meet up once a week and have a bible study at a coffee shop. Since then my older sister started law school, my middle sister had two kids, and I became obsess with work.

Siting there sharing coffee (we bought two and spilt it). We began to talk about social media.

“Its a reality away from reality.” – Sarah

“Because we have each other on facebook doesn’t mean we don’t have to visit in person. Put down the media and lets talk to our family.” -Eva

Eva started telling us about helping one another, helping strangers. To listen to those who are talking to us. To not be so distracted by things that eat up our time.

“…pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” 1 Tim 6:12

Hearing from my older sisters about their every day battles made me realize this bible study wasn’t for them but for me. Everything they were saying was hitting home. Sarah began to talk about loving God with our mind…

“…”Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; ..” Luke 10:27

“The more you read [the bible], the more you’ll be able to hear from God.” – Sarah

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. Gal 5:16

It was my turn.. I had no idea what to share.. so I began to tell them how good things are, but one thing I lack and miss.. My hunger. “I feel like I’m sleep walking.”

I shared, Psalm 89:1

“Your unfailing love will last forever. Your faithfulness is as enduring as the heavens.”Ps. 89

“Every morning, I gotta remember who God is. Things may be good but no matter what I have to keep my trust in God. ” -me.

We ended the night by praying for my dad. He almost got killed a few weeks ago at his job. He works with trains and one almost ran him over. We prayed that he will be safe, that he will get a better job that gave him weekends and night off. We just all missed him.

“Many will ask us, how did we get to where we are at? -Years of perseverance.” – Eva.

I share this family meeting to encourage you to connect with people you love, sit and talk with them. It will leave you refreshed.

 

Video Editing with FCPX & God

My twitter friend from Australia shared a video with me about the new updated editing software FCPX.
As I watched the demo and listened to this editor explain the new software, I became excited at the new program and was no longer concern with what everyone else was saying about it.
I was now forming my own opinion.
This made me think of how people react to God. (Yes Im making this deep, haha) There are misconceptions about Him. We’ve listened to others opinions, never really checking Him out our self. A change in life style (or editing software) would mean we will have to break old habits, learn how to do things, and forget our old ways. Some complain that living for God means the party of life is over but in fact so much life is found in Him. Editors were so busy listening to what the software couldn’t do that we didn’t listen to what it can do.

And that concludes this editing devotion haha Here is the video to check out yourself. What do you think about fcpx? or better yet.. What do you think about God?

The story behind the pierced nose

When I was 18 I faced a very dark time in my life that changed who I was and made me who I am now. I grew up in a loving home and had a beautiful childhood. I had never faced real pain in my life. Then I experienced heart-break from a boyfriend, who in my eyes then was, “the one”. He deleted me from his life, never to be seen or heard of again. I didn’t know how to handle the emotions I felt. I had just graduated high school, legally became an adult and had no idea who I was.

At that time I began to drawing near to God. I had no one to turn to but Him. He seemed like the only one who would understand what I was going through since He could see inside of me. Everyone else saw my situation as a part of growing up, which was true but at the time it felt like the world was ending. In fact, this was around September 11 so it really looked like the world was ending.

I decided to read the bible. When I got to the story of how Isaac met Rebecca I was inspired by their love story. Abraham, Isaac’s father, had his servant look for a wife for his son. His servant prayed that he would have success on finding a girl who fit Abraham’s specific description. After his prayer he met Rebecca. She was very generous and ready to help the servant with his camels. Long story short, the servant asked her family for her hand in marriage for Issac. He gave her a nose ring and jewelery. Rebecca trusted the Lord and the servant that who ever this Issac was, he was going to be perfect for her. She knew the servant heard from God. Now that is trust.

Rebecca and Isaac fell in love the moment they saw each other. (Gen. 24)

I decided I needed that type of trust with God. I didn’t want to spend me life worrying about who I was to marry. I then asked my parents if I could get my nose pierced. They knew I was going through a rough season but had confidences I knew what I was doing.

My dad took me to this little tattoo place. The guy sat me down, pulled out a big needle and poked the side of my nose. I fainted. When I came back he gave me water. I stood up and looked in the mirror. I now had this diamond on my face. I thought in my head, “God, every time I see this I will remember my trust in you, you will bring the right boy for me.”

Since then I’ve lost my diamond nose stud many times. When I do, it feels like I lost my wedding ring. Somehow my diamond makes its way back to me. Just now, I thought I had lost it for good. It had been a week. Today, when I was doing my bed I saw something on the floor sparkling. It was my diamond.

Though the years have past and I’m still a single girl, I remember the covenant I made with God when I was 18. Since then I’ve seen Him do miracles in my life. He’s taken me to foreign nations, introduced me to important people, brought me amazing friends, and experienced a joyful life. I’ve discovered who I am, what I want in life and put my trust in God. And when I’ve dated someone and it didn’t work out, it was okay because I knew God will work something out in the future.

Today as I put my nose ring back on, I remembered my prayer to God. I’m glad I don’t have to worry. What ever your worry is in life, if you give it to Him, He will return it with peace for years to come.

Short Film: The Prodigal Father

Reality is, the past few generations have grown up with out a father. My mother’s father was a drunk and his father disowned him. My dad on the other hand, has been there from the moment I came into earth.  Most of my childhood photos he is holding me in this arms. My dad has been there for me through every season of my life. His wisdom has put me on the path I am on today. He leads me. Yes, I am talking about my earthy father.

This is how I can comprehend God’s love for me. I know the Father’s love because my earthy father loves me. I know my value cause my dad values me greatly. My dad would die for me, and that is how I know my Heavenly Father did. Having a dad love and honor God, is the reason I have lived doing the same. My dad forever changed generations by dedicating his life to God back in 1982.

Even though most people don’t have their dad around, they can still learn the characteristic of what a father should be by embracing the one and only Abba Father. All of this to bring me to the short film I created for Father’s Day.

I was inspired by my cousins father who was in prison most of their life. When their dad finally got out, he gave his life to God and began to spend time with his now adult children. Since then they’ve grown this beautiful bond with each other.  I’ve witnessed how God has restored their relationship. We can forgive the unthinkable cause He has forgiven us.

“Happy Father’s Day”, rather you have an earthly father or not.

One thing I did realize when creating this, I want to make films that bring healing and hope to people. I know, I’m crazy. 🙂

Spring Makes Me Think of You

The birds are singing,

The sun is shining,

but I can’t help but notice you are not here.

The flowers are blooming,

the butterflies are leaving their cocoons,

watching life pass by makes me miss you.

My darling friend,

where in the world are you?

Even though time has passed

I wonder if you notice I’m no longer in the room.

Oh, how spring makes me think of you.

No matter the distance,

No matter whats going on,

you and I will be forever young.

**dedicated to Veronica.