Have ever had that lost feeling, where you stop in the mist of a busy day and you wonder where the heck are you going? Yes, I’m going to get my car washed but where am I going in life? This was me a few days ago.
Some call it a midlife crisis but because I plan to live longer than 62, I’ll call it a deep day. The days where thoughts seem to have a life of its own and it seems like nothing makes sense. Once I started to ask my self questions like, “What is your target? What are your goals? Are you doing all you can do for humanity?” I start to feel guilty that I could be doing more. The more I thought about it, the more I began to downplay my life purpose.
I heard this podcast about thoughts, psychiatrists say thoughts can play like a slideshow, you can let them pass or start to ponder on them – some being thoughts that just aren’t true. You are taking your thoughts way to seriously, they say.
Another book I am reading about thoughts say it’s the devils fault. I’m sure that can be true with serious negative thoughts of harm but what about my unsure thoughts, what are they trying to tell me.
I knew I needed space from my mind, but how does one escape from one’s self?
The next day a friend invited me for a hike. This was the perfect opportunity to clear my head. We did the hike and after breaking a sweat and losing my breath I made it to the top. I asked my friend to snap a photo of me looking at the mountains. When I looked at it, life suddenly became clear. I didn’t see a girl who was worried about the future and how everything will work out, in fact I saw a girl looking towards the future of possibilities. It was as if I was seeing what God was seeing.
We often start off strong, but during the journey, we doubt and wonder if we are going the right way, if we choose the right path. During the hike I had to keep asking, how much longer, my friend would say, “It’s just around the riverbed.” Which I knew was from Pocahontas – but it worked.
I am 31 and in the middle of wherever I am going, the half way point, yes things aren’t clear, still a lot of unanswered questions, but I know God has called me to be faithful where I am at, and endure to the end – the end of whatever, season, journey, life. haha. I can’t figure it all out, but what I can do is be prepared for what’s ups ahead.
Here is a classic life lesson. I got lost while driving, and turned one street early. We often do that, just when we are almost there, we panic and make a move too fast.
I’ve read many blogs, and most of them hold the answers, the keys to success. Here are the keys I learned last weekend – endure. keep hope. anything is possible.
My target is God . Where He takes me, I have no idea. Ohhh. this is Faith. It’s time I expand my faith. That’s the goal.
Here is a great podcast to listen to. Limitless Pt 1