Overcome Fear

No one ever wants to admit they are afraid. The first thing someone hears when they admit their fear is, “Don’t be a scaredy cat.” Thank you person for comforting my fear as if we were on the playground.

Fears change over the years, something so small can become a monster that seems like a giant to kill. First I was afraid of high school, I had no choice but to overcome due to my mom forcing me out of the car almost every day. I’ve had to often overcome by “jumping off the clip” and see what happens.

As a creative professional, I was noticing I wasn’t calling out my fear. I was ignoring it and hope the challenges would go away. I kept putting off new areas of responsibility and in the end realized it was hurting my team. It was up to me to lead, and that meant go first.

I’ve always enjoyed and excelled in post production, its where I am most comfortable. When it comes to understanding how the video control room worked and the art of live production, thats another story. This past year I had to comfort my insecurities by admitting they were there. Not only to myself but to my team. That meant I needed to forget pride and admit I don’t have the answers to everything. 

Who ever thought overcoming fear would mean to take the time to do so. I had to become a student of the live production world. I had to take physical steps of faith to figure things out. That meant, making mistakes and if possible doing so in private.

One of my biggest fears was if a projector went out. I was more afraid of this then if end of the world took place (a projector going out is more like able.) The truth was, I didn’t know what to do! Finally, this week, I told my live production crew, lets prepare for Easter by changing out the light bulbs and dusting off the projectors, take care of what we can, and make some calls manufactures if we had any questions. -Right, I sound like I know what I’m doing. As we we went up to the cat walk, and began to change the bulbs, and dust the projectors. I started to see, this wasn’t so scary after all. When we completed the task I thought about the large monster I built up in my head and how foolish I was.

I came home that night to hear that my parents helped changed the projector bulbs of my uncle at his small church. I laughed to myself because my parents had no idea I had just did the same and this was me killing my giant. I praised them, knowing it wasn’t an easy task.

No fear is so stupid or small to overcome, the first step is to make a decision, you’re gonna overcome it.. the rest will follow.

The Joy of being Flawed

There is joy in being flawed,

it’s a reminder of being a part of humanity.

There is much to learn about being imperfect,

it teaches us the impossibility of doing life alone.

When I make a mistake I am comforted with grace.

When I am unaware, I see there is much to know.

Weakness displays His strength.

Grace displays His love.

The days when I feel I am common,

I look in the mirror and see there is no one like me.

The years when it seems like I haven’t achieved much,

I look back at the road I have overcome.

Faith transforms our shortcomings into a conflict won,

the only flaw I see is when I give up trying to overcome.

The Year to Overcome

I recently read another’s blog post about how successful their 2012 was and their new goals. As I was reading it, it made me feel bad about myself because my 2012 achievements weren’t as large. It made me wondered if my posts ever made anyone feel bad about themselves. I don’t want to come across as if I have it all together. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just know I have to do something and keep on doing it.

This year, I want to be transparent in my journey with you.

This post was going to be about my goal’s for this year but as I typed them, I didn’t like how it was sounding. Maybe because my 2013 goals seem as big as giants. But what I do know, is if I work towards them, they will one day become a reality.

My challenge for you this year is to set goals for yourself, store them in your heart and pursue them.

This year I want to challenging myself more. I want to listen closely to the generations before me. I want to notice the beauty of life in the mist of a busy life. I want to grow. I want to grow so much that the world in which I live can’t help but be effected.

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May we all overcome our giants this year.

Film Making

A writer, afraid to write

A preacher, afraid to preach

A singer, afraid to sing

and me, a film maker.

The obstacle is fear itself.

The obstacle is indeed myself.

When I was a child, I filmed stories for fun.

Now as an adult, I run from telling the stories I daydream about.

Give me a camera and I’ll take photos of you.

I’ll share them with the world.

Give me a computer and I will edit a video for you.

You will smile at how I made your thoughts come alive.

The stories I have in my heart,

they are beginning to come out.

The first short film I made was to impress a boy.

The second was an attempt.

But the third,

will there be a third?

It’s easy for me to do everything else but what I really want to do.

Film make.

Most will shrug their shoulders and say I’ve seen better.

But it will be worth it when it causes a person to see their reflection.

It will be worth it when a person who has never heard God’s voice in their life,

hear it,

see it,

notice Him.